Put that resolution on hold
It’s mid-January, and according to Business Insider, 80% of us are halfway to failing our resolutions for February 1. If we knew how to fix it, and we could, we would have already done it. Instead, most people are punishing themselves for not being good or strong enough to keep their promises.
I encourage you to think about your ancestors, or just take a look at the world. In parts of the world where it is cold and dark in January, everything is asleep. The animals are hibernating, the seeds too. And the people are not very different. We dragged a bit more in January, not just because of the general drowsiness around us, but also because we’ve just been through the holiday frenzy. Whether we enjoy it or not, it is exhausting.
January makes sense as a new beginning because it is a new year. It feels like the ideal time, but in truth, this is a rich time to be introspective. I see many people wondering what is wrong with them because they have reached a low point. They regret it and may feel sad. In truth, they are on the right track. The holidays can bring many feelings and it is a rich fertilizer for the thoughts of January. We have a choice with regrets: we can use them to beat ourselves up or to grow. Regrets help us know what we would like to change in our lives.
When working with clients, one of my first questions is “What do you want?”
I have not had a client able to articulate an answer in a detailed way. Most don’t believe that what they really want is achievable, but without a belief in the ability to achieve it and a plan to get there, the life they want is untapped.
Beyond that, we put our wishes into punishments and then wait for willpower to shape us. It is not a great recipe for success. For example: “In 2018, I want to get a promotion at work. But to get there, I will have to put in more hours. And I need to take that class that I have been putting off. I am also going to have to step up and travel more despite that I hate him. ” Who expects that?
What if this person looked at the end goal? WHY do you want a promotion? They may want more income, more prestige, a better office, a different position more suited to their abilities. When we look at it from that perspective, the whole landscape changes. His goal and plan is drastically different. And probably much more attractive.
Winter is an ideal time to reflect, explore, define and refine your wishes for the coming year. Then start putting the steps to get there into positive, achievable goals that you will hope to work with. And don’t forget to create steps to get there and put it on your calendar.