The Emasculated Male Narcissist – Mommy’s Little Love

The highly successful male narcissist finds female partners who are attracted to him by his magnetism, lifestyle, and extraordinary confidence. High-level narcissists often have multiple marriages and multiple mistresses and girlfriends. Women are magnetized to the high end successful narcissist. Looking at the number of their romantic relationships, flings, flings, and marriages, one might think that male narcissists are comfortable with women and capable of being intimate with them. The opposite is true. On the outside, the narcissist is charming and captivating, promising his woman of the moment whatever he wants to fulfill her wishes. The narcissist who thinks he has found the “right woman” settles for exorbitant gifts and a lifestyle to match. The woman of the day is a narcissistic supply to him, a tempting object that makes him feel more alive and empowered. The narcissist thinks carefully about this new acquisition, the role he will play, and how he will mold it to meet his exact specifications. She is another notch in his belt, a beautiful accessory that tells the world once again how powerful and virile she is. The narcissist requires a perfect reflection, which means that his partner must reflect his feelings of superiority, grandeur and power. If the woman doesn’t live up to the narcissist’s script, she’s not right for the part and quickly falls out of the picture.

Deep down, narcissists are subconsciously uncomfortable around women. They secretly despise and fear them. The male narcissist’s relationship with women begins with his first interactions with his mother. The mother of a narcissist is usually a narcissist herself. This mother creates an uninterrupted psychological fusion with her son. She dotes on him, placing him on a pedestal above ordinary mortals. The mother is often seductive with her son in various ways as part of the psychological fusion with him. Often the father is passive or psychologically unavailable. The mother chooses her son as her partner, rather than her husband. In this process, the mother castrates her son. Emasculation is the deprivation of “strength, vigor, or spirit.” This child is treated as a deity, but has been tragically deprived of becoming a truly independent self. From his earliest childhood, the budding narcissist has been forced to dance to the role imposed on him by his mother: his perfect little man, his psychological partner. In these families there is a dysfunctional family triangle in which the father cannot play the role of providing his son with a strong sense of masculine strength and independence.

In his biography of Frank Lloyd Wright, Brendan Gill describes the classic relationship mother Anna Lloyd Wright had with her son Frank: “(She) now loved something else, something created out of her own fervor of love and desire, a means to realize his vision.” Her adoration for Frank and her disdain for her husband spawned a dysfunctional triangle and a narcissistic duo. Although Frank had several mistresses and was married several times, his psychological fusion with his mother remained intact until shortly before Anna’s death.

The narcissist who takes over the world, enjoys great material success and has access to any number of women who agree to his direction, remains below it all, a small child, scared and enraged, psychologically submerged by a controlling mother. and seductive who steals. may he become a genuine, loving and authentic human being.