Do you have elephants in your room? Clear Em!

Do you know your singer-songwriter friends who you love to pieces but who have blinders when it comes to their music? They have the talent, but there is something they still don’t have. Maybe they’re kidding themselves about how good they are, so they’re not trying hard enough. Or maybe they keep writing the exact same song over and over again, but are so proud of their solo efforts when they really need some serious co-writing help. There is something about ego and creativity that can leave artists in a black hole that takes away any chance of success.

The truth is that hardly anyone will tell you about your elephants; instead, they’ll likely let you hang out with them, counting fangs. And it could cost you your career!

Elephant #1: Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage happens more than you think, and the nature of it is that you don’t know you’re doing it. The number one way I see artists sabotage themselves is with perfectionism. Ring a bell? I myself know this one well. Truth be told, perfectionism is a trap! And you know what else I notice? All self-proclaimed perfectionists (including themselves) often take pride in it! Unfortunately, it’s not fun at all, it actually stops you from moving forward and undermines your self-confidence. The quickest way to free yourself from the burden is to accept yourself, flaws and all (I said quickest, not easiest). The moment you accept yourself, flaws and all, is the moment you move forward.

The way to get clear is to take an inventory of your beliefs. I learned this from Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. One day he asked us to get out our journals and write down all of our beliefs. This was a great exercise. Give it a try, paired with some self-administered truth serum, and it’ll reveal some kind of shocking stuff about what you really believe: personal note.

#2 Elephant: Reality Check

The worst case scenario is when you’re doing your best working on your music, but you don’t have anyone to tell you the truth. I have a student who is so picky about what she writes (lyrics) that she never finishes any song; she just keeps fluttering from one song to another thinking that the next one will be the one that works out. In fact, she thinks she’s “picky” with lyrics, but she doesn’t really commit, and underneath that, she’s afraid she’s not a good enough writer. So really what she is controlling is her fear, not her lack of creativity. Besides the fact that she doesn’t have songs to sing that are her own, she can’t develop as an artist… So I did a reality check on her: I told her the truth, and I basically won’t let her get mad. away with it because I know it’s not what she really wants. So far, we have one song almost done (old clothes are hard to die for) and another on the way! She’s still judging them, but at least now she’s looking her elephant right in the eye.

So here’s a quick quiz to see which elephants (or 8-pound gorillas) might be hiding in your room that might be keeping you from reaching your destination.

How many elephants are in your room? Your checklist:

So, are you ready for a healthy dose of reality? This may sound harsh, but the cold, hard truth is exactly what you need to arm yourself for your career and beat the competition. With so many artists clamoring to be heard, and your music on the line, here’s how to politely escort an elephant or two out of your room.

Answer the following questions honestly. Each of these is absolutely non-negotiable, if you’re destined for the red carpet.

For every no, add an Elephant to your room. At the end of the exercise, count how many are in your herd!

1. Do you practice your vocal technique 5 days a week for at least 30 minutes? Without exceptions.

If you don’t, you absolutely have an elephant in your room.

2. Do you write at least one song a week?

If you don’t, you have an elephant in your room.

3. Do you practice any instrument (piano or guitar) 5 days a week for at least 30 minutes?

If you don’t, you have an Elephant in your room.

4. Do you sing in tune and have good phrasing (or are you working like crazy at it?)

If you don’t, you have an elephant in your room.

5. Beginners: Do you have a professionally recorded demo of your material (at least 4 songs)?

Emerging Artists: Do you have a record, EP and YouTube videos (or are you actively working on them?)

If you don’t, you have an Elephant in your room.

6. Do you get compliments on your voice from strangers?

If you don’t, you have an Elephant in your room (unless you never act and then have 2 Elephants in your room – see next question).

7. Do you act often?

If you don’t, you have an elephant in your room.

8. Have you read Everything You Need to Know About the Music Industry by Donald Passman?

If you haven’t, you have an Elephant in your room.

9. Do you train your vocal instrument with a professional vocal trainer to avoid problems and have an amazing voice?

If you’re not, you definitely have an elephant in your room.

10. Do all the professionals on your team believe in you wholeheartedly?

And if you don’t already have a team, you have multiple Elephants in your room (a team designates at least one of the following: voice coach, co-writer, mentor, virtual assistant (VA), manager, producer, etc.)

If not, you have an Elephant in your room.

11. Do you love the music you are creating? (The operative word is “love.” Making good music is about making the music you want to hear, no exceptions.)

If not, you have an Elephant in your room.

Add the elephants in your room here: _______

If you have 7 or more elephants in your room, this is a herd. Your subconscious brain needs a major overhaul. Read the book The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy immediately.

If you have 5-6 elephants in your room, you are definitely sabotaging yourself. Focus on getting to 5, less than half, and then reduce the rest! You can do it! One foot in front of the other.

If you have 3 or 4 elephants in your room, you are kidding yourself a bit and you just need to be realistic. Ask 2 people close to you what they think you need help with.

If you have 1 or 2 elephants in your room, you are in the normal ballpark and just need a bit of adjustment and focus. You are so close!

If you have 0 elephants in your room, you are awesome! You could become famous one day! I will love it! Proud of you!

Ready to get some elephants out of your room? Keep this list on your desk and turn every no into a yes. Not only could you become a great artist, but you could also get a head start in this industry! And no matter how many or what little elephants you have in your room, keep reading Dr. Joseph Murphy’s The Power of Your Subconscious Mind: It Will Get You There.