father power
Abraham Lincoln once said, “The strength of our nation is found in the homes of its people, while the strength of the home is found in the moral fabric sewn by the father.” True then, true today, but a permissive society and waning cultural standards have waged a spiritual battle against the father, our marriages, children, and even our nation, undermining the family and jeopardizing America’s future.
Christian families today are plagued with spiritual anorexia. They are starving from spiritual malnutrition. They don’t get the milk that 1 Peter 2:2 speaks of, but instead drink gallons of powdered secular poison that Satan has left there for the taking. It comes in many forms: materialism, television, everyone is doing it, people-pleasing, and just generally fitting into this world. (See Romans 12:2 for the antidote.)
Come with me some 30 years ago, when a boy sits at his grandfather’s funeral. I remember the tears of loss that my aunts shed. I remember the pain that death brought to those of us who did not know the Lord then. But there was one memory etched in my twelve-year-old mind that I will never forget. I was looking at my dad and his emotional strength. He raised and carried the family even though he had just lost his father. He carried us on his shoulders. He was strong. He was taking care. He was a father.
I remember that ten years later I saw her again, since the tragedy this time involved the loss of a large sum of money. As creditor after creditor called, he picked up the phone and spoke to all of them, knowing full well there was no money. He taught me that it is always better to step forward than to run away. He said, “When you run away from life, it has a way of coming after you harder.” What courage I thought. I hoped to be like him when I grew up. He was a father.
Little did I know then that my dad’s impressive emotional strength was a metaphor for a father’s incredible spiritual strength, a visual symbol of an unseen reality! Like no other person, a parent possesses a special power to mold and shape the life of another. All the basics of character flow out of this person’s life. Esteem. Beginning. Identity. When you think about fatherhood, you realize that there are few things more powerful.
Children need to know what they are made of and where they come from. Boys especially need affirmation that they have what it takes to be a man. This can only come from one type of parent. True masculinity can only be given to a child of a man. Christlikeness and manhood are synonymous, as the love and servant leadership of our Lord must be at the core of fatherhood.
Even if you don’t have children of your own, you can still spawn. Fatherhood has little to do with biology. In essence, it has everything to do with influencing, shaping, and affirming. I believe that at the very root of every man there is a father in the soul. There are young people everywhere looking for this.
My wife and I have been fighting the good fight of parenting for 15 years. Christian parents who love and serve the Lord. Parents reading the right books and quoting the right Bible verses for our children. Just this past Saturday, I hosted our God4me Ministries Men’s Event, “A Man of Character in a World of Commitment.” I had my thirteen-year-old son there. Having my son listen to godly men made me feel great about myself as a Christian father.
But as with many aspects of my walk with the Lord, that feeling lasted for about 24 hours until the middle of the Sunday worship service. By the way, did you know that seventy-five percent of today’s parishioners attended church as children? And when a father is an active believer, there is a 75% chance that his children will also become active believers. But when the mother is the only believer, this probability is drastically reduced to only 15%. (Back to Sunday Service). The pastor was rolling and the presence of God was powerful as communion was served. What broke my peace was watching my eleven-year-old make communion wafer sandwiches, only to be finished off by my thirteen-year-old turning the paper bulletin board into flying airplanes.
When it comes to being a parent, the words shame and failure continually spring to mind. The incredible inadequacy I sometimes feel about parenting has drawn me to the Lord more than I care to admit. Being the father of my thirteen-year-old daughter has brought me incredible joy, only to be matched by the overwhelming fear that comes with being the father of a beautiful teenager. (She looks like his mother). Being a father has led me into a deep confusion that I rarely experienced, even as a pagan. The effort I put in, while my children fight for Disney out of devotion, is exhausting.
As the director of God4me Ministries, I struggle daily with the temptation to put my service to the Lord before being a father. I have learned that my service to Him is not enough to make up for failed parenting. Mentoring and reading the scriptures has helped me tremendously. (Read 1 Samuel chapters 2-8 about the failure of the priest Eli and the prophet Samuel with his sons. It’s scary).
The famous ad “It’s all about the beer” is a lie. It is about a man at his children’s bedside, leading them in devotion and prayer. He is about a man who takes his family to the house of God. He is about a man who gets up early and is alone with God seeking vision and direction for the family.
One of the best words regarding fatherhood came from our president, George W. Bush. When asked what he remembered most about his father, George Bush Sr., he answered quickly and without hesitation. The president said: “My father showed me such unconditional love that he allowed me the freedom to fail. He was free to try to be loved regardless of the results.”
And you? Have you been loved unconditionally by a father or another man? If so, you are injured. If not, you’re still hurt. Why? It is because that love is there for you, in the form of Jesus Christ, the father of orphans.
My brother, receiving and understanding the grace of God (Ephesians 3:18,19) this Father’s Day may be the greatest gift that has ever existed. Using that gift in fathering others will be a life well spent, one that will bring eternal rewards. I pray that grace upon you.