How to get him to be more serious without giving him an ultimatum
Men don’t like to be threatened, which means giving him an ultimatum is the last thing you want to resort to and I don’t care what your mom or your friends say. If you want it to be more serious, an ultimatum is not the answer to your dilemma. I would tell you why it is never considered as a solution in my book. An ultimatum is a self-serving way for someone to get someone else to do something or change. For some, it is considered as a validation. It is nothing more than a manipulative or forced way of doing things your way. No matter what your reasons are for pressuring someone to do something they aren’t comfortable with, things will only get worse. Do you really want your man to feel you? Are you going to be happy knowing that you forced someone to have a relationship with you?
Never start having “the talk” unless you’ve done everything that hints to him that you want to be serious or exclusive. If you feel him too soon and ask him how serious he is with you, you could end up scaring him and this is definitely not the result you’re competing for, right? If you insist on bringing it up, make sure you’re prepared for the consequences. Is it okay if he comes clean and tells you that he enjoys sharing a bed with you and nothing else?
There are subtle ways on how you can get a guy to commit without giving him a terrible ultimatum. The most important thing you can do is show him that your world doesn’t revolve around him and that you have a very interesting corner outside of your relationship. Men love to be with women who are self-sufficient, confident and independent. Don’t cancel a night out with your friends the second she texts you that she’s free tonight. Let him know that you meet his priorities and sometimes it’s not just about him.
Take dance classes or flying lessons, whatever keeps you from smothering him. You can even book that Bahamas vacation you’ve been dying to take. The thought of you in a bikini on a sexy island full of hot men will drive him wild with jealousy. Leaving will make him realize what life is like without you. Once there is something that is vying for your attention, he will begin to question where he stands in your life. If a guy is really interested in you, he will have a conversation with you about your relationship and where you are really headed.
Another way to make him more serious is to make him feel like the two of you have an unspoken commitment to each other. Don’t go out with other men and don’t flirt with every guy you meet, otherwise you’ll make him think you’re someone who can’t be trusted. It is very important for a man to feel secure before he can fully commit to a relationship.
If you’ve done everything you can to get a guy to commit, but he still refuses, then it’s time for you to move on and maintain your dignity. Knowing when to give up the fight will save you tons of headaches and tears at the end. There is no reason why you should try to change a man and hope that things will change for the better because they usually don’t. Learn to accept that not everything we want can be ours.