Valentine’s Day is over, now what? How to find and nurture the relationship you want so much

Now that Valentine’s Day is over, it’s the perfect time to sincerely seek a serious and stable intimate relationship.

In today’s social networks, it seems simple and even “promising” to use Facebook and other means to connect, find and start an intimate relationship. However, the risk is that the “easy” experiences of connecting with other people can be “tempting” to just “play around”, “get” good results with others, have endless sex, “feel good” about yourself and their ability to meet, and meet and meet again…

And as long as you hold on to that “great feeling”, you could get addicted to such “dating games”, of quick and instant hookups that often lead to a one-night stand…

At first you can feel high, in the “sky”: you are a “desired” person; Doesn’t it feel great to be searched for by so many others every week? Doesn’t it feel good to “be in control”, exercising your ability to see one person for once knowing that another person is already waiting to meet you?

You may feel elated; full of happiness.

But then how long can you sustain such a feeling? How long can you jump from one person to another before you start feeling like a loser, feeling your self-esteem start to deteriorate, realizing that, and lo and behold! – Are you unsuccessful in finding and maintaining an intimate relationship that you hoped for?

So if you’ve signed up for multiple dating sites simultaneously, met a lot of “potential” partners, and might even have “fun,” but have come to the conclusion that all of this hasn’t led to the relationship you want, well It could be that the time has come for you to look for another approach.

One such approach could be to meet someone through someone else (a close friend, a coworker, a family member). This is sometimes a safer and more promising way to find a meaningful relationship.

However, meeting someone through another person could still face you with similar known issues, such as: the need to “show” yourself that you are desirable; the need to jump right into bed to feel that you are a “sexual and attractive” person or the need to be loved and adored.

These urges, or others you may have, consciously or unconsciously, can trigger in you exactly the same behavior patterns that have controlled you during your numerous dating attempts thus far. As a result, you may still feel lonely, lonely, wanting a successful intimacy that now may seem like an even more remote possibility than before…

self awareness

A positive and constructive way to begin pursuing your goal of finding and nurturing a healthy, long-term relationship is to develop your self-awareness: understanding the needs that control you and have caused you to behave the way you did on the many dates you might have had.

The process of developing your self-awareness is a process of getting in touch with “who you really are”; with coming to understand the powers that control you; with learning to regain control over their behaviors. It’s a process of acknowledging the different ways you might have sabotaged yourself and your relationship attempts thus far, and understanding what you need to change in your approach and attitudes.

As you go through the Self-Awareness process, you will notice how different things start to fit together; how you begin to see more clearly how you could have shot yourself in the foot by now; you will realize and begin to understand the patterns of thought and behavior that got in the way of your finding and cultivating successful intimacy.

With this newly gained self-awareness, you’ll now be ready to approach dating and potential partners in a fresh and new way, leading to the relationship you’ve been seeking for so long.