Why do I want to tie my tubes

This Monday they are going to tie my tubes. I am 29 years old and my tubes are being tied. It’s happening. I’ve had some mixed reactions from people, so I thought I’d explain my reasoning behind this decision.

1. My mental health:

I struggle with some serious mental health issues that have plagued me since I was 15 years old. I just found a combination of medications that keeps me stable, happy, and able to live my life. When I don’t take my medication, I cry all the time, I’m angrier, a lot more impatient, and generally a less than funny person. When I get pregnant, I get crazier. It is necessary to adjust medications and monitor hormones. Then after pregnancy, I am prone to postpartum depression, which turns those 6 months of my life into a rollercoaster of nonsense. It’s crazy that strains my relationships with others and makes my life miserable. That was the main reasoning behind my decision.

2. My birth control failed me once:

I was using birth control when I got pregnant with baby Wallace. He really must have needed to come into the world. So now I am much more suspicious of traditional contraceptive methods. I know the chances of it happening again are probably incredibly slim, but I’d rather not take that risk.

3. The M word:

We cannot afford any more children. Money is a factor in most of our life decisions and we honestly do not believe that it is fiscally responsible for us to have another child. That’s just our situation. I’m sure it would probably work if we had the urge to have another one but, as you may have already assumed, I haven’t had that strong feeling.

4. It feels good to me:

I am not saying that every 29 year old should run out and have this procedure, I am saying that it is what I feel is right for me and my body. Pregnancy is difficult for me, mentally and physically. None of my pregnancies have been easy and this last one was especially difficult. I desperately wanted smooth pregnancies, but they just weren’t in my cards.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. I am thankful that everyone is in my life, both here and in heaven. I wouldn’t give them up for the world. But I feel that now they are my world and our family is complete. I do not feel any anguish or stupor at this decision. I am relieved and excited for the next chapter of my life. I feel like I can become a mother with both feet knowing that I don’t have to wonder if I’ll ever have to go through the pain and stress of another pregnancy. In fact, it is quite a liberating feeling.