The definition of high maintenance

I recently saw a slogan that said “I don’t need a lot of maintenance, I just need more shoes.” What’s this about men calling us high maintenance, anyway? It’s hard work being a stylish woman!

To look perfect every time, we need the right tools: the right bubble bath, lotions and potions, fluffy towels, outfit, makeup, hairstyle, and the perfect mani-pedi combo. Imagine going out without all those items?

As a woman, it’s not about getting out of bed, putting on yesterday’s jeans and loafers, and smiling in the mirror on the way to work. We have too much class to do that. That’s why I say: they call it high maintenance, we call it fancy.

What’s wrong with a woman having 200 pairs of shoes? Only one thing: they are only two hundred and not three hundred. There are 365 days in most years, but being a woman requires much more than that. First, there are the slippers you use to get out of bed. They have to be soft and fluffy. Honestly, who wants to walk on cold floors this early in the morning?

We need a good pair of sneakers for our morning run. More than one pair is needed to match our different workout gear. After the shower, we need dress slippers. We don’t want the furry ones to get wet in the bathroom. Enter the bathroom after a man has been there and you’ll know what I mean…

Then it’s time to get ready for work. Different types of days in the workplace call for different shoes. You can’t wear the same shoes to lunch with the boss that you wear every day. Besides, that new receptionist is so stylish with her Manolo that it’s very stressful to keep up. Just to make sure she knows her moves, a woman (high maintenance or not) needs at least one pair from Christian Louboutin, Giuseppe Zanotti, Marc Jacobs, Stella McCartney, Barbara Bui, Rupert Sanderson, Azzedine Alaïa, Celine and Givenchy.

At the end of the day, we need sexy stilettos for those cocktail parties and a few pairs of fetish shoes for later. Finally, when we’re home alone and taking a break from being “high maintenance,” we need our fair share of comfortable slip-ons, ugh boots, and satin slippers.