Five Big Steps to Overcome Possessiveness and Jealousy

Have you ever found yourself struggling with feelings of possessiveness and jealousy? These are the two main factors that can ruin a love relationship. However, being aware of your behaviors and having the determination to change is half the battle. After that, putting into practice the strategies listed below can free you from these harmful feelings so you can enjoy healthy relationships.

The signs of jealousy

The main traits of a jealous person are a huge inferiority complex and selfishness. While we may be aware that a jealous person is selfish, we may not be aware that they have an inferiority complex. This is because he hides it with a display of self-confidence.

Selfishness rears its ugly head when your partner shows even a small amount of attention to someone or something else instead of you. You feel bitter for not being the focus of interest and jealousy overcomes you. At such times, he will think of no one’s welfare other than his own.

Do you have feelings like these? If so, then it is vital that you realize that they point to jealousy.

Test yourself for selfishness

Answer these questions:

Am I prepared to return the favor?

Am I prepared to allow a similar privilege?

If both answers are negative, you are most likely being selfish.

What you need to do, if you are jealous, is to conquer your feelings of inferiority and dire need for approval.

Jealousy vs Envy

Although most people are inclined to interchange these words, envy and jealousy are two separate emotions. Envy is when you want to do the same as the other person. Jealousy is when you want to be the only person doing well. The jealous person always wants to take the achievement away from the other person.

Thing is, envy can be a useful emotion when you use it right. It can encourage you to improve yourself and your status.

possessiveness

In the case of possessiveness, there is no other person involved. You feel worthless unless someone adores you and proves it to you by suffocating you with their undivided attention.

Both possessiveness and jealousy stem from the same source: an overwhelming need for love and appreciation.

the way to change

If you have these unpleasant traits, there are techniques you can use to lessen or eliminate these negative feelings. With a little effort, you can be well on your way to having pleasurable relationships free of jealousy and possessiveness.

Here are five great tips that can help you conquer these feelings:

1. Remember that nobody is perfect! Everyone has some flaws. You don’t have to be impeccable to be useful. Why should you allow others to judge your worth? Do they have a Ph.D. in the field?

2. Be careful with yourself. When you encounter challenges or a break in your relationship, remember that self-blame leads to feelings of guilt and weakness. If possible, blame your behavior, but not yourself. Avoid falling into self-pity.

3. Believe that you can change. You might think that jealousy and possessiveness are an inherent part of your character that you can’t change. However, you can change! One only has to consider people who have quit smoking or drinking alcohol to appreciate that change is possible. If they can change for the better, so can you!

4. Everyone is their own person. Many people in romantic relationships think they “belong” to each other. This is one of the most dangerous beliefs of the jealous and possessive person. No matter how much you’ve given your lover, you just can’t think of them like you would your house or your car. If they have decided to leave you, let them go. There is absolutely no purpose in caging someone who no longer cares about you. Such a relationship would not have harmony.

5. Take up a hobby. Someone who makes another person the center of their life is naturally jealous and possessive. A good way to end focusing your life on his mistress is to take an interest in yourself. Improve your skills in your hobby and you will find that you are no longer worried about your relationship. That’s because you’ll be passionate about more than just your lover.

So, if you are jealous and possessive, put these tips into practice; and develop your sense of self-esteem and learn to see things as they really are. As a consequence, you will see your relationships bloom in beauty and happiness.