Holy Cow: Tales from an Indian Ashram Part 1
Before I start with the whole Indian vibe, I thought I should explain a few terms that I will use. I’m not doing this to be condescending, but after this experience I thought I should. I was having coffee in Cape Town, when someone in our group mentioned Pondicherry, I didn’t hear in what context, so I asked him if he was referring to Pondicherry in India. He asked me why I was asking and I told him I was in an ashram not far from there. It looked totally blank, “what is an Ashram?” he asked, I hesitated not really knowing how to answer, but before I had a chance to speak, his face lit up, he looked at me and winked at me, “Is this a place where you go to smoke marijuana and have a lot of sex?”
On that note, I will give my definition of the following terms that I use in this article. Satsang means that somewhere a teacher’s disciples went to hear him speak spiritual truths. Guruji is a respectful name for a Guru or enlightened teacher. Ashram means a refuge where a guru will live with his disciples. There is no sex or marijuana anywhere in this Ashram, although some nights I prayed that would be different.
It is 5 o’clock in the afternoon and I am sitting in the Satstang room at the Sri Vast ashram near Pondicherry in India. It is pleasantly warm and my fellow “seekers” surround me. We are all in loose white clothing waiting for the resident Guru, Sri Vast. It’s my first day and I’m not sure what except. I secretly hope it turns a rock into a ruby in some divine alchemical prayer, because that would be really impressive. As I am sure you can imagine, that did not happen, not that it is unusual in India, what I did get was another idea of true liberation.
When he walked in and spoke, it soon became clear that satsang was not about scheduled topics, a program, or intellectually moving from A to B. It was a time for him to respond to whatever arose, to ease our western minds into a freedom. I hadn’t felt it before.
One of the first questions that night was quite strange, a German guy asked why he had come to an Ashram and how he helped free us. I thought it was a silly question, something I should have cleared up before the flight from Germany to India. However, my presumption faded when I realized that I didn’t know the answer either. I was there because I felt compelled, for no other reason, I wanted a different experience.
Guruji Sri Vast responded with his rich heavy Indian accent, broken English, and lots of repetition. “An Ashram is a place where people go for inner transformation. Normally, an Ashram is based on a realizing guru and people gather around that Guru to learn how to realize or experience a fulfilled person. When a person comes to the Ashram, for example, he comes from his normal life. Whatever you call “normal.” Say you come from Norway, and if you are totally happy and content, you will be and stay in Norway because this is what you want and you have reason to stay there. “
“If you are looking for the” I “, you want to find yourself or you want to experience something else. That means that you are looking for a different experience than what you are having. We do not have to compare your previous experience as good or bad, but we have to accept that you are trying to have another experience. So you are living in Norway and now you are in India. Now you come to an Ashram for example. You are trying to experience something else and there is no comparison. I cannot compare why India is not like Norway Why are there many cows in the middle of the road? In Norway there are no cows in the middle of the road. Unconsciously, you connect the present with the past. Now you are trying to make India like Norway, from where you are trying to escape. “
He goes on to explain, in his sometimes difficult to understand English, that India is different from Norway, and that is why we have come here, to experience something different, so we must stop comparing. He said that we must open our eyes to a new way of being and a new experience. I was wondering if this was your point, “India is different from Norway”, had I wasted a long haul flight to be told this? I was hoping it would keep going, I was getting impatient, I wanted enlightenment and I wanted it now!
As he spoke further, the penny began to fall, well, not as much as circling, ready to fall. If I didn’t like my old life, I had to accept that I had come here for something new. Now things were radically different. My reality was that I lived in harmony, in paradise, in a bubble of love, with free beings in a safe space, but my patterns and conditioning were still in the past. Every moment I made comparisons with my previous life. His advice was to let go of the past for a while. It is the culture of the Ashram that we only say our names and if we speak we speak only of the present. Silence badges can be freely placed on our dresses for others to respect our right to silence. I thought the silence was just for peace and quiet. It is also so that we do not get involved in conversations from the past, where we are strongly identified with the labels that we have put on: lawyer, mother, wife, girlfriend, vegan, cancer patient, blonde, car owner, housewife, brilliant person , slim person, chubby person, white, black, early riser, tea lover, coffee hater, etc.
It was liberating to be tag-free.
So the first lesson was to stop talking about the past, eventually I stopped thinking about the past and stopped identifying with strong careers, names, and beliefs. All of this blended into simply being in the now, fully present in every moment, with no pressure to make, impress, or compare.
Space. Happiness.
My first Ashram lesson; stop identifying with the past. If I keep doing what I did in the past, I would not be in the flow of now.
He wanted us to be consciously free.
I really liked Guruji and what he had to say, he spoke of freedom, liberation and love. There was no place here for sin, punishment, hell, or fear. My soul felt at ease and at peace.
He had created spaciousness within me and I was grateful and it was just my first day.
Like inside, it’s outside
Grace