New book teaches intentional living through releasing resistance
Paige Elizabeth’s new book Leading an Intentional Life is a simple, refreshing, and sometimes personal look at how to overcome your pain, overcome your resistance to positive change, and ultimately find peace with yourself and those around you. .
Paige does a fabulous job of getting right to the heart of the matter by not holding back in the honesty department. As a life coach, she has helped many clients change by making them realize their role in the equation to get what they want. For example, at the beginning of the book, she talks about a client who described the perfect man she wanted to find. Paige responded, “So you want a Ferrari? Can you drive a stick shift?” When the customer didn’t understand, Paige added, “You love Mr. Right, but would you know how to react to his generosity? Would you be what he needed?”
Sometimes we are not prepared for what we want. Drawing on psychology and the Law of Attraction, Paige explains that in order to be ready, we have to overcome our ego and its fear of change. We have to resist resistance before we allow what we want to manifest. Coming out isn’t easy, but as Paige explains, where most people go wrong when trying to come out is not becoming a person who is ready to receive what they want. Lottery winners are a perfect example. They want the money, but when they get it, they don’t know how to handle it, so they end up losing it.
Many things get in the way of our intentional living. One of them is to focus on what others want instead of what we want. Paige states, “People will try to usurp your power, but no one should take charge of your destiny.” Unfortunately, sometimes the person who usurps our power is us, or at least we play a role in the usurpation. One of my favorite stories in the book illustrates this point. Paige gave an assignment to a client who couldn’t say no. The task was to say no to everyone for the next month, regardless of whether she wanted to do what was asked of her or not. When the customer told Paige that she would follow her advice, Paige yelled at him to say no. Talk about a way to reinforce an idea. The client got it after that.
As a yoga student and teacher, Paige also believes in karma and brings it into the discussion, showing how it is similar to the Law of Attraction. She quotes a friend who told her, “People are born with their own contracts. You can’t save them from their karma or steal their dharma. Only they can do that.” Paige defines karma as “beliefs, feelings, and thoughts” and dharma as “purpose.” We can’t fix anyone because they are in their own karma. But we can seek to raise our own state of vibration to improve our situation. That said, we cannot go from depression to joy overnight. We have to start where we are, in our default state, and work to gradually raise our vibration.
We also have to be aware of the addictions that hold us back. Yes, there are addictions like drugs -Paige understands because she lost her brother to drugs- but there are also feelings that can turn into addictions. Trying to be high on joy is one example, and it can get exhausting. The constant search for emotional release is another. Paige shares how she at one point cried a lot until she realized that she had become addicted to crying. We cry because she liberates us, but Paige warns that when doing something drains your energy, it’s not liberation but addiction.
Another area Paige addresses regarding intent that personally frustrates me is people saying “I don’t know” or being unable to make decisions. Paige gives an example of a couple trying to decide where to eat, both saying, “I don’t know where I want to go,” and ultimately ending up eating where neither wants to go. (I’ve met plenty of people like that.) But not knowing isn’t just about food. Not knowing can mean not knowing what you want to do with your career or your life. Paige says “I don’t know” is an escape: the fear of doing the work to find out and the fear of making the wrong decision. She encourages people to start where they are and just decide what they like or don’t like. If they just make mistakes or just keep learning what they don’t like, that’s okay because you’re getting them closer to what they do like.
Many of us also use “I don’t know” because, as Paige says, “Most of us exist in people-pleasing gray. Black and white thinkers are in the minority. The struggle is to clarify in your direction, rather than wondering why you’re not happy.” Paige offers tips to help us achieve that clarity so we can set intentions for what we want and go after them. We also have to commit to doing the work. We can’t try something for two days and then give up because it doesn’t work. We have to commit to the long term. She also warns us that there will be pauses, but, and I love this because I have seen how true it is in my own life, we have to see the pause as a test, asking ourselves if we really want what we say we want. . Paige states, “Every time there’s been a pause, there’s been a breakthrough of success. I mean, don’t tell yourself that the pause is what you’re manifesting. No, the pause is the path to what you’re manifesting.” “.
Ultimately, what all of this advice adds up to is learning to love yourself. Once we learn to love ourselves, we also learn to love others for who they are. And we learn that we do not need the love of others. Paige states, “It’s a powerful place to not need another person. The compulsion to be perpetually in a relationship disappears in the place of self-love. A person with self-love realizes that they will never find love. The difference is that a self-respecting person will be forced to give love, not seek it. True love doesn’t care what it can get. True love cares what it can give.”
None of the steps Paige offers to lead an intentional life are easy to take, but Paige convinces us that they are all doable. She proves it by sharing her own traumatic story that led her to know these things were true. I also know from personal experience that they are true. I hope you take this journey with Paige to lead an intentional life. You won’t be the same afterward, but you will become more truly the person she always wanted to be. Don’t let fear stop you. It’s not as scary as you may think.